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Damn… this is a tough one, because I am living this right now.

A failed relationship, whether it’s with friends, family, a partner, or even someone at work, hits hard. Some people can bring out the best in us, but they can also crack us wide open, exposing insecurities, fears, and places where we thought we had it all together. Sometimes it’s a moment of misunderstanding, unfulfilled promise, or that gut wrenching feeling of betrayal from someone who used to be your anchor. 

These moments, as gutting as they are, remind us just how fragile and complex our connections really are.

But here’s the thing: every loss in a relationship, every hard moment, is a teacher. It pushes us to self reflect and recognize the patterns we’re stuck in, the way we communicate (or don’t), and those times when maybe we didn’t show up fully for the people we care about. When a connection falters, it forces us to grow in ways we never would have chosen but often end up needing.

So yeah, taking an “L” in a relationship feels personal and painful, because it is. But it also plants the seeds for resilience, compassion, and, sometimes, a more honest version of ourselves. These moments don’t just take from us, they teach us how to show up, both for ourselves and for the relationships that still have room to thrive.

The term, “Taking an L” as far back as I remember, actually started in the world of sports and gaming. Back then, an “L” literally stood for “loss”, a simple way to keep track of wins and losses on the scoreboard, with a “W” for wins and an “L” for losses. Eventually the phrase to break out of that world and take on a new life, especially in hip-hop, where it started showing up in lyrics as a way to talk about real-life challenges and setbacks.

From there, it kept evolving. Now, “taking an L” is something we say anytime life doesn’t go our way, whether it’s a missed chance, a failed attempt, or even just one of those days where nothing seems to click. It’s become entrepreneurial shorthand for acknowledging that things didn’t go as planned, but without all the heaviness. It’s almost a humble way of saying, “Yep, that didn’t work out,” with a bit of humor and resilience in the mix.

When you “take an L,” it doesn’t mean you’re done; it just means you’re getting ready for what’s next. It’s like giving yourself permission to admit things didn’t work out—and then getting back up to see where you’re headed next.

This can be applied to almost any kind of loss you will experience as an entreprenuer.

I wrote this piece, because I have recently taken a series of “L”s, and the only way I can make peace with it right now is to believe that I went through it, so that I can help you thru yours as we grow together. I will eventually share my story, likely in the book I am writing.

But for right now…

I took an “L” so how do I get to whats next?

First by recognizing that it does not have to be Game Over, you can play again.

Recovering from a loss hits differently for everyone, but the core elements remain: feel it, reflect, and move forward while keeping your mental well-being intact.

Here’s a step by step guide to bouncing back from an “L” in a way that’s real, doable, and nurturing to your peace of mind. In all transparency, this is what I am currently using in my own life. Much of this comes from my therapist “Jay”.

Feel It, Don’t Push It Down

Before you even think about “moving on,” let yourself feel whatever emotions come up. 

Sometimes, we put pressure on ourselves to stay strong and ignore the pain, but bottling it up won’t make it disappear. Sit with your feelings, disappointment, frustration, sadness, whatever it is—and allow them to exist without judgment. You’re human, and feeling this is part of the process.

Instead of criticizing yourself, talk to yourself like a friend. This is a time for compassion, not self-blame. Remind yourself that setbacks happen to everyone; it’s part of the growth process. Be kind to yourself.

Step Back and Breathe

Now that you’ve faced those initial emotions, take a step back.

Sometimes we need a breather, not just for clarity but to recharge. Do something that feels grounding: go for a walk, spend time with people who make you feel good, or just take a break from thinking about the loss altogether. Breathing room can help you see things from a different perspective, especially when emotions are still high.

Shift Your Perspective on Failure

What if, instead of seeing this setback as a failure, you could view it as a building block?

Try to redefine what this “L” means. Yes, it’s a bump in the road, but it doesn’t have to define you. Think of it as a lesson, even if it’s hard to see what that lesson is right now.

Ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?”

Every experience, especially the tough ones, an serve as a stepping stone to becoming stronger.

Reflect Without Overthinking

When you’re ready, dive into some reflection, but keep it constructive.

There’s a difference between reflecting and getting stuck in a loop of “what if” scenarios. Look back to understand what went wrong, but don’t let it become a cycle of regret. Think about specific things you can do differently next time and jot down those steps. Use this as a guide to move forward, not a script to relive the past.

Set Small Goals and Celebrate Each Step

Set a few manageable goals to regain your momentum.

It might be as simple as finishing a task that makes you feel accomplished, no matter how minor. These little wins remind you that you’re still moving forward. Don’t aim for perfection right away, just aim for progress. Every step counts, even the small ones.

Reach Out for Support

Lean on your support system.

Talking with friends, family, or a mentor can bring a fresh perspective and help you feel less isolated. Sometimes, just sharing what you’re going through can lighten the load. And if you feel like this setback is really taking a toll, consider seeking professional help.

Therapy can be a powerful tool to work through difficult times and come out stronger.

Get Back to Self-Care Basics

Taking care of yourself physically helps you handle the mental stuff, too.

Eat well, get enough rest, and move your body, even if it’s just a quick walk. Self-care doesn’t have to be grand gestures; it’s about doing what you need to feel like yourself again. These basics are essential in keeping you steady as you navigate this recovery.

Zoom Out and Focus on the Bigger Picture

Remember, this one loss doesn’t define you or your journey.

Take a step back and zoom out to see the bigger picture. Think about all the challenges you’ve overcome before, and recognize your resilience. This is just one part of your story, not the whole plot. Every time you rise after a setback, you build strength and resilience.

Recovering from an “L” takes time, but each step, each breath, and each small victory helps rebuild your confidence and inner strength. This loss doesn’t define you, it’s just one chapter in a much bigger story.

You’ve got this and the “W” is coming and I am in the stands cheering you on.

As I am,

George Torres

PS… I can never mention therapy and seeking help outside without giving you a resource to add to your toolkit….

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